Tag Archives: humour

A notis of sumthing to bye.

Wele for sayle. Noe carefool owners atte alle naught to fyve balls of flakks in a cuple of daies. Lowwe mayntayn ens.  Itte will juste gowe rownd and rownd and rownd, spinning.  Itte is a spiining wele.  Itte sayves werk.  … Continue reading

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Notiss 3

Ye spinnning weel is yette avaylable.  Thee fynall reduksion in prise is too an orl tyme low of onlye 4 groats and wun (1) farding.  Do notte look for a lowwer prise heer or enywere els.  Itte wil notte happen.  … Continue reading

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Ay nuther notiss.

Sayve thy fingers.  For sayle. Flemische devys  that coyles both woll and flakks withowt twiddlerin of thy fingers bye mean of a weel.  Notte ay cartweel butt a speshul weel notte offf a carte atte all.  Itt hath a seet … Continue reading

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Ay notiss.

Neue spinning weel devise for to twyst wole and flakks.  Bog oke is itt maid, wood matche most half timbouring.  Compleet as to ane instruktion roll of the wurking writ in Laten, French, Flem with woodcuttes inn common tonge. Will … Continue reading

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Piles.

Yes, I have piles, I have piles of piles and lots of them.  Putting cream on them will not help.  Sucking my stomach in and thinking of higher things is no help at all and eating prunes doesn’t make a … Continue reading

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The all England women’s flab championships, the final.

You join me here on Centre Court for the final, on such a windy day.  Jim, do you remember ever having such a windy day? Other than sixty-three, two-oh-eight and seventeen, no. It is unprecedently windy, yes. No, there was … Continue reading

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The perlitikal situashun.

This column never has been and never will be anything to do with politics.  It’s about artists like you and me and what we do when life in general and relatives in particular, go a bit manky. However, the current … Continue reading

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Bedding.

Absolutely not in the Shakespearian sense, though at the time bundling was very popular.  The courting couple, dressed in every garment they had, were put in bed together, sometimes with a plank of wood between them and then further bundled … Continue reading

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Nurses.

Eight days in hospital is a long time to watch.  There’s not a lot else you can do if you’re not up to reading but hooked up to bottles and drip stands. I had pipes up my nose and everywhere … Continue reading

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Inarticulacy.

Inarticulacy, or as I like to think of it, inarticularcy, is its own thingummy jig. If you arse around with the words, which slip, fugitive from your whatsit, (holding with the hands and fingers, begins with rasp) the results are … Continue reading

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