Once long long ago on a planet far away people had spare time and filled it with meaningful pastimes such as model railway building, baking cakes, climbing Mount Everest, hanging off the side of a sailing boat with their bottom dragging in the water, flower arranging, making snowmen, watching television programmes, stamp collecting, craft working, archery, having a nice day out, extreme skateboarding, skimming stones or having a long lie in.
Then along came Tim Berners Lee and now all anyone ever does is go faffing around on the web. I’m not blaming him, I’m remarking, that’s all. You can get there by phone these days, though most people get there by computer when they’re meant to be working.
Take me for example. This morning, after my work out, I began as I begin every day, eating breakfast by the computer while I checked my emails. You too? It has the merit of being fattening and frustrating with a side order of crumbs under the keyboard. Emails are like hair, there is no such thing as the right amount. There is either a paucity sufficient to make you question your own lovability, or there’s so much it takes hours to arrange. If there’s not enough you will go searching for more, if there’s too much you have to shuffle, deal or postpone, either way you’re looking at an hour of your day absolute minimum, faffing around on the web, and this, please note, is only the opening salvo in the war to get your day back, held to ransom by technology.
Having dealt with the emails I then have a quick flick on to the web proper, and so do you and so does everyone else. How can you not? You’ve just had to waste an hour of your day dealing with an ocean of rubbish in case some of the flotsam was significant, you deserve a reward. Personally I do some astrology sites, until I’ve convinced myself that Taurus will waste time on astrology sites today, also, watch out for a man in shorts and a red tee-shirt delivering post. Your lucky number is 74 and five eighths.
Then I do the shopping channels websites, sadly I know by heart the days when they post the bargains. So I have a quick genuflection at the altar of Moneyoff, flip through the schedules, have a quick watch of the live channels, scroll down the lists of faves and other ranks in case I’ve missed something and that was how I got side tracked today, your Honour. For lo! I am slightly famous! The cake which I made for my mother’s birthday is now in the cake gallery on createandcraft.tv
So I thought, well that’s nice I’ll blog that but I’ll show you the latest cake.
So off I went to my photo bit which is in severe disarray. The S&H sent pictures of his honeymoon via Dropbox which had a running fight with Picasa and now instead of having photos spread across the page where you can see them, you have photos, diddy weeny tiny photos, in a long list down one side of the screen and you have to keep going back and it takes forever.
So, I couldn’t find the photo of a cake. It wasn’t in the cats file, which has everything but the kitchen sink in it and, even, some cats. It wasn’t in wedding, which I am so tired of after months of doing three albums, though I am nearly finished, it wasn’t in…………oh hang on what’s this?
It was a set of photos of my mother which I took last year when she was dressed up to go out for a lunch with the flower club. I had intended to print off small versions of these to send to the family when she dies. I did this when my father died with photos of him, as there was no funeral, and the photos, in little frames, which I had found at a great price in a sale, were well received. I have kept looking ever since for photo fames of a similar size for pictures of my mother.
So I printed out the photos, 18 of them, and then I went back to the computer and started shopping for wallet sized photo frames.
If all the time spent on Amazon were put end to end you would have time to do anything. Walk round the world, landscape your garden, squeeze all the spots of every teenager you’ve ever known, learn a complex foreign language, crotchet seat covers for a bus, you know, you’d have a lot of time.
Eventually, three hours later, I had found and ordered 15 affordable photo frames that won’t look entirely stupid stood next to the ones from two years ago and also two tiny albums in a sale, they were cheap and cute, much like myself, and then I went back to my own photos where I found this
in cats after all, or to be more exact in the cat file, because I don’t think the cats will eat cake, probably.
And then I became aware of the cats mewing at me very desperately and realised it was long past time for a late lunch, more like an early tea.
And this is where the day goes, just faffing around on the web.
I bet you’re glad you don’t do that.
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JaneLaverick.com – doing stuff and then again, not.