Cleaning the servants.
Any lady of quality would earnestly wish, insomuch as such matters are spoken of, to be known as a person possessed of clean servants. One refers not merely to their uniforms, which should be spotless at all times, naturally. Only a dolt would permit a maid to appear in the parlour in a grate scrubbing apron or in the boudoir in leek-earthing boots.
One is alluding to the cleanliness of such persons’ personal person. One hesitates to use the word of what are, essentially, cattle, but the word to which one is obliged to be directed is body.
Odious as it is, servants are possessed of bodies in a very similar manner to the quality. However, gifted, as they may be, with little in the matter of thinking mechanisms, they have scant propensity for keeping the same in a clean condition and, indeed, unless urged to do so, will happily pass many days, or, alarmingly, weeks, without so much as cleansing the skin which is on public exhibition, namely wrists, ears and face.
Only last week I had the great misfortune to observe the new boot boy, apparently, in the act of growing a great black beard and moustache. As the boy is less than ten years old, judging by his height, I was quite surprised and bade him come to stand by my side (though not close enough to catch anything) near the scullery window. Still unable to discern the root cause of the blackness spreading from his lower eyelids to his upper neck I urged him to step outside. Daylight revealed the source of the darkness not to be growth of hair but actual filth adhering to the skin of his face. I questioned him closely, thus:
To what cause do you ascribe the dirt adhering to the skin of your visage as far as the upper neck?
What?
Have you washed your face recently?
Yup.
I don’t believe you.
I ’ave. So there.
You have not, you little liar.
I ’ave. It wunt come orf.
Of course it will come off. Have you utilised soap?
I dunno. What’s a utilise?
Thereupon I took him back into the scullery, and donning horse gloves upon my own fair hands I scrubbed him with a good half pound of best yellow coal tar. To my amazement this availed me little. Upon drying him off on a perfectly good hessian sack I was chagrined to see his skin obtained to exactly the same shade of filth as previously.
Accordingly I had the cook wash him and the valet and, as he was at the door demanding money, the coal man, who actually made matters worse.
When the coal man had departed, the cook, desirous of obtaining use of the scullery to prepare the dinner, averred that she was willing to lay a bet that the filth adhering to the boot boy was ascribable to his use of the new fangled chewing latex, chicle. Under questioning the boy admitted that he had, indeed, not only chewed this substance but had endeavoured to blow bubbles from his mouth with it, which disgusting and unnatural practice had led to the explosion of several of the bubbles, coating his skin with the sticky chicle. Over time the general dirt that is the lot of the boot boy had generously laid in layers upon the chicle, giving his face the appearance of a full beard and moustache.
Having consulted the butler on methods of removing gum Arabic from surfaces, the cook subsequently scrubbed the boy with spirits of vinegar, pomade, sand, cooking gin and port lees, all to no avail. At last it was decided that the boot boy should work in the stable until further notice, or until the filth has worn off or he has outgrown it. The difficulty of supervising a boy at the distance of the stables can only be imagined and unhappily the head groom has had to be paid extra to examine his head twice daily, with tongs, and report its condition to the cook. The butler refusing to go down to the stables several times during the day, saying he already has too much to do, has necessitated the under valet and the housemaid being instructed to supervise the boy. This they have done at intervals, so frequently together (though how one small boot boy can require the supervision of two servants together in the hay loft – of all places – when I went to see for myself what was taking the time) that the household is up to an hour behind, at any one time.
I would strongly recommend all ladies to ensure that the only substances to enter the mouths of their servants, should be gruel, good bread and, of course, a little water from the trough.
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JaneLaverick.com – naturally scruffy.