The OH received a threat of insulin from the doctor if he didn’t lose some weight.
Being himself he went completely overboard. First he went on the wagon (not completely, there has been quite a bit of riding on the axle). Then he bought a book by a well known TV doctor giving the recipe for an 8oo calorie a day diet, which has to be followed for eight weeks at the end of which the OH is promised he will no longer be diabetic.
This diet does contain rabbit food as you might expect but it very notably contains no carbs at all. No bread, no potatoes, no cake, no biscuits and nothing much you would enjoy. It does contain lots of oil. Absolute slicks of it floating quantities of meat, fish and assorted dead things, in the frying pan, in a dish in the oven, in the pan and subsequently in the oven, with more oil and eggs. Lots of eggs. Lots and lots of eggs. And beans.
Oh the OH is full of beans. And, because he is hungry the beans are being eaten at top speed. Here’s a bean, where’s it been, it’s gone. Bean and gone five minutes flat.
So.
We are having conversations that go like this:
I have lost another pffft, kilo.
Good.
My trousers are still a bit faaaaaarp, sorry, tight, pfft.
Are they?
Yes have you got the fAAAAAAAAAArp thwap, pardon, remote?
No I think it’s beside you, oh dear that’s awful.
Yes I know I’m spoop spoop spooop fAAAAAAAAAAArp thawp, oh dear. There it is on the floor, I’ll just, thwarrp, thwarrp, flp, flp, I don’t think it was a good idea to bend over. Oh dear that is awful, even I think so. Now what do you want to see? Frrrrrrrrp.
What have we got recorded?
Fwwp, pthoooooooooop, flaaaaaaaaaarp, here you look.
Why, where are you going? Oh.
(Exits pursued by a diet.)
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